When I pay under two bucks for gas now, I feel like I should leave an extra large tip or something.

My son and I have evolved several customary valedictions following the nightly tuck-in. I usually choose whichever one seems appropriate for the karmic energy of the moment, but tonight I thought it would be amusing to give him a choice.

It turns out, he wasn’t concerned with the goodnight ritual. Instead, he seized the opportunity to make a precise request for the manner in which he would like to take his wake up. The clarity with which he stated this made me wonder if he been just waiting for me to finally ask.

Instead of the normal “rise and shine” (what my mom used to say to me), he asked me to please sing him the theme song from Scooby Doo.

When he gets TV privileges, he usually opts for Cartoon Network’s Boomerang. Even though he still likes his modern, computer-animated, positive message cartoons, they cannot beat the pull of a classically animated chase that ends with a prat fall or an anvil to the head. I can respect that.

But singing this ridiculous ditty when I’ve just woken up myself, and I’m not a morning person, and in researching his request, I’ve just discovered how inane these lyrics actually are? It is asking a lot.

Back when I used the Internet to arrange music trades of cassette tapes and CDs via postal mail (can you believe that shit ever went on?), I got hold of a bootleg of Ol’ Dirty Bastard from Amsterdam. I gather that this was somewhat widely traded among Wu fans due to the great sound quality.

The length of the copy I have is 37:18 and contains only tracks from “Return To The 36 Chambers”, so it is probably circa late 1995 or 1996. It begins with Buddah Monk hollering, “The Ol’ Dirt Dog is here!”, followed by about a minute of ODB talking about how he has the 24-hour flu and is so sick that he probably shouldn’t be doing a show. Complaints about Dirt’s ailments go on to be the theme of the show, which actually makes it all the better, since besides his great music and a one-of-a-kind delivery, unpredictability and even audience uncomfortableness are actually desirable attributes of an Ol’ Dirty show. Somewhere between, say, appreciation of Andy Kaufman and Tom Green, the bootleg listener should appreciate Big Baby Jesus’ complaints about a headache so bad that every time he talks his head goes “boom boom boom” as some sort of meta performance art.

I would preemptively defend the charge that what I’ve just written is total bollocks just by saying that it may be, but so is a lot of art.

Though I must also add that I saw Wu-Tang perform at Durham Athletic Park in Durham, NC in 1998 (another one for the can you believe that shit happened? list) with a apparently totally clean, sober, and healthy Dirt McGirt, and the crowd was ecstatic about his performance.

Anyway, Googling reveals a couple references to this show, but nothing conclusive. None of the “ODB Amsterdam” YouTube videos I found match this performance. Does anyone know the year of this show? Did anyone reading this go to that show?

Set list, Ol’ Dirty Bastard featuring Buddah Monk in Amsterdam, Netherlands:

“24-hour flu” Intro
Baby C’mon
“Respect to Hanky Panky” Interlude
The Stomp
Goin’ Down
“Got a bad headache” Interlude
Hippa To Da Hoppa
“Stage dive invitation” Interlude
Don’t U Know Part II
“Stage dive clarification” Interlude
Shimmy Shimmy Ya
“Is money’s head alright?” Interlude
Drunk Game (Sweet Sugar Pie)
“I want to fall in love” Interlude
Brooklyn Zoo II (Tiger Crane)
“Starting to really feel sick, fuck you if you don’t believe me” Interlude
Brooklyn Zoo

Cross-posted at last.fm, where you can stream some of the album versions of the tracks. Related: My 1998 article about the crazy show the Wu did in Durham. Ol’ Dirty made my list of dead rappers I saw perform live. I also wrote about the member of ODB’s Brooklyn Zoo crew who boasts the rawest name ever in rap.

Some adults told me some crazy stuff when I was a kid. I can’t resist passing some of it along.

So I tell my son that if he doesn’t clean his ears, potatoes will grow from the dirt.

I’ve told him I’m kidding a few times, but on the other hand, I’ve mentioned it enough to cultivate the possibility in his mind that maybe it could happen. Typical adult BS from a kid’s perspective, right? But bottom line, he now enjoys cleaning his ears. He shows me the washcloth and tells me he cleaned out all the potatoes.

Fantastic Tanya Morgan, Von Pea, Ilwil, Ilyas, and Donwill downloads here.

So much free, good shit there. Plus links to buy some more, which I highly recommend you do, immediately.

Check the comments too for a couple more links.