I prefer to think of it as the place people go to comtemplate life’s deepest questions, rather than an adult version of the high school cafeteria loser table.

Unfortunately, in achieving the goal of being less ignorable, Metro’s new “Shaaaady Grove” voice can’t help but become more annoying. Not nearly annoying enough to make people heed her pleas to move to the center of the train, though.

I’m really interested in being active in campus life, I think I’ll make this the year SGA really goes head-to-head with the administration.

Often, when Ben says something, he “pads” it with a bunch of seemingly nonsensical syllables in front of the intelligible portions. On casual listen, it does sound a lot more like a real sentence. He sounds at least as intelligible as a George W. Bush speech.

Want to ingest eighty-four ounces of a liquid that can melt corrosion off a car battery? No problem, you won’t get sick. That’s why adults can never really tell kids shit, because intuition tells them they’ve got a free pass to bounce back from nearly any excess, as long as they don’t drink seven Cokes *everyday*.