After three “have to pee’s” during a twenty-five minute class, even someone as dense as me realized the bamboozlement.

I forget to check my afternoon calendar, but when I finally do, I find it as empty as an anexoric’s digestive system.

Adding insult to injury, most DVD players give you the “talk to the hand” icon if you try to skip intro ads using the “DVD Menu” button.

My four-year-old son loves the rabbit chase. He wanted to join this amazing race so badly. I granted him permission to chase the rabbit as long as he stayed behind the slow running dog. So there I was, with these three silly creatures running around and around and around me in an erratic circle.

Rove will finally be able to subscribe to smut under his Republican National Committee email account without worrying that Henry Waxman will subpoena his porn passwords.