Sorry to be crass (though I am by nature, so how sorry do you think I am, really?), but the real reason I don’t brush my teeth often at work is because I don’t want to risk brushing my teeth a few feet away from a stall.

When I pay under two bucks for gas now, I feel like I should leave an extra large tip or something.

My son seized the opportunity to make a precise request for the manner in which he would like to take his wake up, instead of the normal “rise and shine”. The clarity with which he answered made me wonder if he just been waiting for me to ask the question.

The length of the copy I have is 37:18, and begins with Buddah Monk saying, “The Ol’ Dirt Dog is here!”, followed by a minute of ODB talking about how he has the 24-hour flu and is so sick that he probably shouldn’t be doing a show.

Some adults told me some crazy stuff when I was a kid. I can’t resist passing some of it along. So I tell my son that if he doesn’t clean his ears, potatoes will grow from the dirt.