I have become certain there is a little mouse who wears gloves and a parka and sneaks into my laundry room to steal only the socks.

Sheesh, the peaceful equanimity Bush showed when looking down the barrel of a shoe was totally out the window in that crazy, finger-jabbing press conference yesterday.

Who among us doesn’t think those star-bellied sneetches are a bunch of snoots-in-the-air big dummies?

The true legacy of Bush’s so-called “war on terror” is trying to find a needle in a haystack by adding hay.

God, I wish that when those BART officers started getting rough, that everybody on the train had surrounded them, at a reasonable distance, with a phalanx of cell phone cameras.